“Much of my life had been devoted to trying not to cry in front of people who loved me. I Clench my teeth. I look up. I tell myself if they see me cry, it will hurt them, and I will be nothing but A Sadness in their lives, and I must not become a mere sadness, so I will not cry, and I say this to myself while looking up the ceiling, and then I swallow even though my throat does not want to close and I look at the person I love and smile.”