I am too eager to fly high. Until i forgot about the one who is always there to lift me up. While trying to forget how hard my life was, I leave almost everything behind and keep moving forward. I try to have a brand new happier life. I almost forget how it feels to be alone, how I love being alone. And how my loneliness catch your attention. I ran away from my old self, which means I ran away from the actual you.

You know what? No matter how I said I love to be alone, I actually need a company. Not necessarily to talk to but I need the one who could always be there, who could make me feel better even when I am all alone in my room. I always need someone even when I told every single one to go away. I built walls around me. And that is what I forgot. And it is my fault. I move forward without looking my past and that is how I slowly lose you.

I fly high by letting you down. I leave you all alone when all you need is my presence. I let you drown in your own thoughts. I let you feel bad. I let you fight yourself, all alone and I am so sorry for that.

It is not that I no longer can read you but I have changed. Changed to someone new. I try to deny all the negative things. Which actually makes things worse. I forgot how to think, like I used to.

I sit all alone, trying to figure everythings up. How to think like before without losing what I have now. I won't go away when you ask me to. I will never let you all alone when all you want is to be alone. Now I remember back on those days, when I tried to push you away when youre trying to come in.

And now I will do the same thing you did to me before. I will try hard to lift you up, I will let you have my wings. I wanna see those sad eyes sparkle. I want you to at least, feel less alone. I wanna fill in your emptiness. Because youre the reason for who I am now. Because I can see my future in you. Because I promised you to always be by your side.

I am so sorry for not being able to read you all these days.